I never really understood the idea of writer’s block. Well, I know that when you’re trying to string words together to make a coherent sentence it becomes difficult bc every idea can seem retarded, but the entire block of the creative process for no apparent reason never held ground in my head. I mean, seriously, we all talk too much in our lives, how hard could it be to just move your fingers and write that down. Then when I realized I hadn’t written anything here for a good 6ish months and sat down to try to be creative….I was like, “Well shit, I have nothing to say.”
Freaking irony…(or just a coincidence, I don’t know, I always confuse them)
But now, for the actual topic to be discussed (while I sit and watch the OC with my brother and eat homemade cookies and wait for my 6am flight back to the real world)…New Years just passed and as per my usual tendencies, I have a few resolutions that I would love to attempt to try to think about keeping…write that down…but I’ll avoid being the useless “I want to stay in shape” or “Work harder” resolution guy and actually think of something creative
1) Watch More Hindi Movies
I find that a lot of the time I’m surrounded by people who are semi-infatuated with anything and everything Bollywood…if I hear about how hot Shah Rukh is one more time I may barf (that means you Suchit)….these new movies, beautiful actresses, insanely ripped males and, above all, the insane dance sequences are things of legend and ridicule…Most of my life I’ve been vehemently against any and all of these cinematic quagmires, but I feel that the immediate angry reaction I have should be toned down and a bit and maybe, who knows, I’ll enjoy it and learn a thing or two? “Excuse me, to please?”
2) Play More Video Games
I must say, this is one of those vices that I am sad I let go…as “old” and “professional” as I feel…I think that giving up my video gaming nerdiness is very unforutnate….with moving to SF and being more busy with work, life and general apartment stuff, I haven’t found myself wasting hours of my time staring at a screen in the dark with nothing but my thumbs moving….slightly therapeutic to vanquish a boss after failing several times then doing a secret victory dance while singing “I feel good”……And as terrible as it sounds, with the new online features its a great way to keep in touch with the old friends who, like me, enjoy being antisocially social…
3) Brew My Own Beer
Being in a big city is only fun if you attempt to enjoy the…er…crazier aspects of it. And via my good friend Shane, who brews excellent beers regularly, I’ve rekindled my enjoyment of a fine ale/lager…So given the new “bar” type space in the apt and my ability to waste enormous amounts of time on the weekends I figured that trying to make my own succulent intoxicating materials could be a good time and a good idea for any weekend antics that may occur…I am also entirely open to suggestions for flavors/ingredients that might be interesting to have in a beer, as well as any guinea pigs to try it because I’m sure after the first few terrible batches my roommates will refuse to help out
4) Try to Use More Pickup Lines
Before you go and judge my intentions here, let me clarify that I am not trying to spit game and pick up girls and being all super suave James Bond guy…OK so maybe that would be a perk of what I’m trying to accomplish…But being that I find myself going out with a lot of new people in many new situations, I’m very curious to see if ANY useless, icebreaker, cheesey pickup line would ever work in simply starting a conversation and …oh god I can’t believe I’m going to say this…”cupcaking”…If you’re wondering why on earth I just used that term, I’m deferring you to Suchit and/or any Bay Area Brownie you may know…
5) Try new [Facial] Hair Styles
I’ve recently had to travel a few times for work and found myself being annoyingly cornered by TSA guards for being “suspicious” and not “following certain guidelines”…all the while I’m clean-shaven and wearing business attire…and being that I have no problem growing facial hair, I figured I may give the Feds and/or TSA something more interesting to deal with and experiment with different colors, designs, thicknesses and general scariness…This one ranks rather low on my list simply because I’m not totally sure how the various facial hair anomalies would go over at the office BUT given the right “week” I’m sure I could whip up something fun for the weekends…
—
So that’s the end of my top 5 new year’s resolutions for this year….trying my best to think out of the box and attempt to have an interesting new year….And as everyone always wonders how often people actually uphold their resolutions during the whole year…I had three last year: a) Get back into shape (gained a lot of weight in Toledo)…but I got it sort of done, b) Start dating more…I think I did a decent job of it but I could always improve and c) Find out what I really want to do with life and make that big change…and that I got done for sure…
I hope everyone has an awesome 2009…if you actually read this whole thing then I hope you come up with some great resolutions to try for the upcoming year…Now it’s time for me to go shower and catch my 6am flight back to SF and the end of “vacationing” in Ohio…
jsk…
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Tags: future, life, new year, resolutions, top 5
A Snapshot in Time
It takes a lot of time to build up the courage to write something meaningful in a public space…you tend to feel more at ease with funny list or a goofy habit or breaking news because those are things that aren’t diving deep into your psyche but kind of treading in the shallow areas. I can say that, seeing as my last post was in April, I’ve built up enough courage to finally write one more thought-provoking posts I conjured. I actually had written a post that I thought was smart, but realized last minute…it was very useless. So this was my new idea:
Think back to 5 years ago. Can you remember how different you looked? How different your music taste was? How much you were enamored by someone? What movies you watched and what friends you met? Life seems so important at every moment but when recollecting on them later, you really feel like it is so different than you are now. People make time capsules with objects, to help them remember how things were back in 19xx. But no one ever thinks to make a time capsule for themselves. Some conglomeration of their thoughts, characteristics, actions and feelings at a certain moment in a certain time to be read 5 years later.
This is my personal time capsule, to be re-read by me in 5 years:
- The books you’re currently reading: I Am Legent by Robert Matheson, The Game by Neil Strauss.
- You’re not dating anyone, and haven’t had a real girlfriend since high school (5+ years ago), who you still try to talk to because she’s still a good friend and genuinely awesome. You have met and talked to several new girls since then. You love to flirt and go on first dates.
- You live in Toledo, OH, getting a M.S. that you don’t want, in a field of study you’ve recently decided to leave. You don’t want to be a doctor, nurse, researcher, professor or physician’s assistant. Medicine isn’t for you. It’s impossible to enjoy it as a lifestyle, career, profession, even thought. You want to enjoy your youth.
- You want to live in a city again. You’re leaving Toledo in less than a month and then moving to a city (TBA) and hoping to start a job. You want to be in a downtown area. You have no clue what the next year holds.
- While you’re excited to leave Toledo, you’re leaving good friends. A childhood (best) friend you’ve known your whole life and several amazing friends that have been awesome and helpful at all times. This scares you, it took a while to make good friends.
- You still drink, regularly and sometimes heavily (but never alone and only when partying).
- Your parents live in your hometown in Ohio with your brother, who is leaving in August for college on the west coast. You also have two sisters, one on the east coast and one moving to the south. You currently feel like the lowest on the totem pole, but this isn’t a new feeling.
- You love everyone in your family, extended and immediate, unconditionally.
- You’re hair style changes everyday, but is currently a half-faux hawk. You have contacts, glasses and shave about once a week. You rock a soul-patch under your lip.
- You have four best friends. Two on the west coast, one in Toledo and one in Chicago. All four of them make you wish you could be better. You envy them all in different ways.
- You think about the past often, wishing to change significant events in your life. You’re sure you’ve made a lot of mistakes but you’ve grown a lot. You still wish for change.
- You can dole out lots of advice and almost always have an answer to a problem. You like that people come to you with problems and issues and always want to help, regardless of the person.
- You’ve never been in love.
- You’ve never had your heart broken, but broken at least one heart.
- You love to travel. You leave almost every weekend to some location, near or far, and love living out of your duffel bag. You’re decent at meeting new people, easy to talk to, and you try to be funny. Sometimes they laugh, sometimes they stare awkwardly (that’s what she said).
- You listen to everything you can get your hands on. This includes some annoying music that you’d never tell anyone you own. Current favorite song: Don’t Touch Me (The Travis Barker Remix) by Busta Rhymes and Travis Barker. You like opera.
- You love to dance. You haven’t done it well in a while, and have lost a lot of skill. Regardless, hip hop is your favorite style but you’ve experienced swing, salsa, contemporary, bollywood, bhangra, raas, krump and liquid (rave).
- You don’t have a favorite color.
- You love computers…software, hardware, IT, whatever it is…it’s fun to you. You’re a huge nerd who plays video games and reads digg.com regularly. You want to do it forever.
- You love sports. Rafael Nadal just ended Roger Federer’s streak at Wimbledon and you caught the end of it. It was epic. You spent an hour watching videos on espn.go.com. You started playing tennis and basketball again, but you suck at both. Go Buckeyes, Wildcats, Cavs and Browns.
- You miss a lot of people. Your friends, your enemies, your acquaintances, your family, the random girl you talk to at the bar. When someone asks you how your life is, the usual reply is “boring”.
- You love all types of food. Japanese, Mexican, Indian, Chinese, American…whatever. Sushi and your mom’s Rajma and rice is your favorite dish.
- You love change. You love new experiences, the more wild the better. You have one tattoo (getting a new one in a few months), have sky dived and will be getting a motorcycle license in the next year if it kills you (bad phrase to use here). Adrenaline is your anti-drug.
- If you could classify yourself it one word, it’s “wtf”. You hate that question.
- You have a lot of principles, proverbs and ideas you stick closely to. You hate backhanded behavior and disrespect. You have a clear life philosophy of “enjoy shit, it only happens once.”
- You’re very religious, which is odd to many people bc of the way you act. You read, pray twice a day, and are genuinely intrigued with what the f*** we’re supposed to do with these gifts called life.
- Facebook is the devil, but secretly the greatest invention ever. You want to beg Mark Zuckerberg for the hours of your life you lost, because he can probably afford it.
- You drive a Lexus IS 250 AWD, but have to drive it everywhere because no one walks in Toledo. It’s red. You’ve named it Shakti.
- You have two names. They are two different people. Abhishek and Anshu. You go by both everyday. Sometimes it confuses you but sometimes you really enjoy it.
- You don’t have a real wild fashion sense anymore. Sometimes you go old school and switch it up, but essentially you just dress to be comfortable.
- You turn 23 in less than a week. You hate your birthday and wish you could skip it.
- One of your close friends in married, but several are recently engaged. You don’t want to ever get married or have children. You’re stubborn with this decision but ultimately the reason is deeper than you’d share on a blog. You’re still excited for them.
- You don’t like what you see when you look at a mirror.
- You don’t remember the last time you were really proud of yourself, but find that you’re always proud of those close to you.
- One of your best friends is swimming in the 100m Butterly at the Beijing Olympics for India.
- You like going to the gym, like how it makes you feel, but hate the feeling of losing all your energy when sprinting or lifting. You always want more.
- You have very little shame and have done lots of embarrassing things. You don’t give a sh** though.
- You’ve been up all night to reset your sleep cycle, which you constantly ruin.
- You’re favorite movies are Se7en, Star Wars (all six, regardless), Boondock Saints, Gandhi, Harold and Kumar (guilty pleasure), Grandma’s Boy (another guilty pleasure), 300 and The Shawshank Redemption.
- You watch the TV Shows 30 Rock, House, Scrubs, Avatar and Family Guy and reruns of Friends and Arrested Development.
- You share a lot of random information you read online to the people you see everyday.
- You blog like this because you want to share some of the jumbled mess of your mind, but you’re surprisingly closed off to most people. You’ve been referred as a closed book once in the past 6 months.
- You love to read and watch people. You like to think you know a lot about both. You’ve proven you’re not always wrong.
- F*** Bush. You like Barack Obama but had other choices in mind (not Hillary though). You’re best described as libertarian.
- You’re afraid your parents are growing old. You don’t want to see them frail. They occupy your two greatest fears: losing them and disappointing them.
- You would refer to yourself and a lover, not a fighter. You’ve also never been in a real fight and it bothers you a little.
- You think you’re smart, but that has also lead you to realize that, while everyone thinks they’re special, you’re more than likely doomed to mediocrity.
- In all honesty, you know you’re lucky and the majority of your thoughts, feelings and problems are privileges of people who are well off. While it seems superfluous to even bother when there are people who suffer for real, you’re still living a life that you don’t want to cheapen with the bare minimum of worry and though. You want to explore and enjoy every thought you can, just because you can. People who suffer in India, Darfur, Iraq, America, Europe, Africa, etc. are always in your prayers.
- You’re going to want to change this in the months after you write it. Don’t.
What You Look Like Now
I’m saving this as a word file too, in case this blog goes down/no one blogs anymore/I somehow lose this. It’s pretty obvious to me that, in this extremely young life of mine, 5 years will be a large change in my life. In 2003, I know this would be an entirely different set of ideas running through my head. I probably would have also wondered who in the hell Mark Zuckerberg was.
If you feel like criticizing and critiquing and questioning me (all alliteration aside), please feel free to do so. My life is a dry erase board that can be edited, added to and always changed. It’s a very personal post, but there are obviously things that are not shared. I’m ok with that, because if they’re that personal I’ll remember them. Try it for yourself. Writing out every important thought you can think of is very liberating (even if you don’t share it).
As for me, I’ll be back to this a lot in the next few months, but also for sure in 5 years. One thing to tell my balding, annoyed older self: try something new tomorrow. And jsk from me to future me.
Filed under: future, life, past, relationships, thoughtful, time capsule | 2 Comments
Tags: future, life, thoughtful, time capsule
It’s been far too long since I last posted something here. The only reason I remembered this apart from all the annoying work I have to do right now is a green post-it on my monitor and someone asking me what it meant when they visited. I’ve been meaning to write something…well…meaningful, but I find that my mood is a bit too somber to make perfect sense and instead you’d be treated to a disdainful splurge of melancholy ramblings…write that down.
Instead, I wanted to touch on something that I use to waste a whole lot of time…and that is movies…more particularly the fight scenes in some of my favorites. Being that all guys love a good fight scene, I’ve come to realize that most movies need to have some insanely ground-breaking fight scene if the genre they’re going for is “guy-movie” related (yeah you can have a sh**-load of explosions and gun battles, but hand-to-hand combat is a must). I’ve perused a million scenes in my days…some horrible like, say, Street Fighter: The Movie, and some amazing ones (see most Jet Li, Bruce Lee fights). So without further explanation:
5) The Chatty/Gentlemanly Duel
The Princess Bride – Inigo Montoya vs. The Man in Black
While this isn’t the most eye-opening, gut-wrenching, insane manly duel in the world, it ranks up there as one of my favorites. Normally when you see fight scenes, the dialog tends to get in the way of the fighting. This one, however, is vastly different. It’s the conversational tone, the almost playfulness of a “fight to the death” (coupled with excellent swordsmanship) that makes we watch it over and over. It’s a great moment in the movie because you know very little about everyone, but this scene opens up a major story for the characters, as well as being highly entertaining…got to love the one-liners…zing!
4) I Know Kung Fu
The Matrix – Morpheus vs. Neo
For most people, this fight scene would probably rank pretty high on their list. For me, it’s obviously the case, but it sits at #4 (and not higher) because of my distaste for Keanu Reeves. He talks with an upwards inflection at the end of every sentence, like it’s always a question, with an airy nonsense nature. But enough about that. This fight scene is cool because it has the speed, precision and form of two relatively seasoned fighters cramped into two actors who had simply trained for it. When you can have two guys who aren’t martial artists fake it to make me believe they might be, you’re good. The acrobatics are great, but what I like (which you seem to miss in lots of martial art fights) is the fact that you can clearly see who is “winning” during the fight. It’s not a random assortment of hands but an attacker and a defender and one being the better. One of my favorite fights, with the greatest WTF line “You think that’s air you’re breathing?”
3) Crash of Cultures
Fearless – Huo Yuanjia vs. Foreign Experts, Huo Yuanjia vs. Anno Tanaka
Ok, so this is kind of cheating, but both these fight scenes are technically in the same chronology, so I don’t care. The first, the foreign experts fight scene, I put because of it answers a questions I’d always wondered: “Sure these kung fu guys are awesome, but would they be able to fight any other styles?” This was fun to watch and actually pretty well choreographed. The second scene, with the Japanese master, was a bigger highlight for the movie, so it’s kind of separated from the others. The weapons are insane and the tie-ending (which you don’t see often) is different in a good way. Jet Li is one of today’s best martial artists and this fight scene (along with the banging soundtrack in this video) makes it pretty awesome.
2) Eddy, from Tekken? What’re You Doing Here?
The Protector (Tom-Yum-Goong) – Kham vs. Capoeira Fighter
Now, if you’ve ever played a Tekken game, you’ve seen that annoying character Eddy, who seems to be breakdancing moreso than fighting. Turns out, that’s a real style of fighting (from Brazil/Africa) based on, you guessed it, dance movements. This one ranks very high on my list because of the insanity of the fight. Yes, capoeira fighting style isn’t the best method to bring into a fight, but out of the millions of fight scenes in this movie, I had to put it up there (close behind it was the 1 shot fight, with zero editing, which is pretty cool). The personification of Eddy, to me, was pretty awesome. While the fight isn’t that long, it’s cool how each fighter kind of starts to adapt to take on the opposite style, because when they were started, no Muy Thai guy thought he’d ever face a Brazilian Capoeira monster. This fight, while not the greatest, it up there for cinematic allure.
1) F***ing Chuck Norris
Way of the Dragon – Tang Lung vs. Colt
As I hope to have a self-respecting fight list, I had to place Bruce Lee as number 1. The only question was, which fight would be his best. Was it the opening fight from Enter the Dragon, the Kareem-foot-in-your-chest fight, or something displaying disgusting nunchaku skills. In the end, I chose the one with Chuck Norris. I realize it’s blasphemy to show Chuck Norris losing anything, but I’m pretty sure that if he had only grown his beard (to hide the third fist) he might’ve won. This fight is gritty, angry, dirty and above all, real. Both of these guys actually fight that way (in fact, they used a fast-action camera because they moved too fast in the pre-takes…something Bruce Lee always did apparently). This is the fight scene I can watch over and over again because its a systematic fight. Breaking down one leg, arm, knee at a time.
Honorable Mentions:
Troy – Achilles vs. Hector (Horrible acting but a great fight)
Legend of the Drunken Master – Wong Fei-hung vs. Thunderlegs (real character name, fight always makes me wish I was coordinated when drinking)
Transformers: The Movie – Optimus Prime vs. Megatron (cartoon movie guys, for my inner 12-year old, and I wish the live-action movie’s fight was as good)
That’s all for today. Behave yourself, if you have any qualms you’re welcome to let me know…and in the words of Tyler Durden…I want you to hit me as hard as you can….jsk 
Filed under: fight, funny, movie, top 5 | Leave a Comment
Tags: bruce lee, fight, jet li, kung fu, movie, scene, top 5
Overheard in My Life
Sleeping patterns seem to mean nothing to my subconscious because no matter what time I wake up on any given day, I am bound to sleep later than I would like to…so either I’m forced to constantly sleep in till 2pm OR be tired every day of my life…and I know which one you think I do but let’s be honest…I love to sleep in….but this is neither here nor there
Funny story, went to a formal and people who dress nicely then drink are usually incredibly funny to talk to…mainly because they forget about thinking harder on their thoughts when they have a purdy outfit on…so I got to thinking, and read that Overheard in New York site and remembered all the weird/funny/sad things I’ve heard in life….the following are all comments that I have heard and have made my head hurt…no names though, trying to be nice:
The BFF: I’d love to come to your birthday, but my other half says he’s not up for it so we’re gonna study instead…happy 21st hun!
Guy 1 (currently dating Girl A): So who’re you looking to get with tonite?
Guy 2 (completely in the dark): Ahh, my ex, Girl A looks fine, so I figure I’ll get her drunk and see where it goes
The Good Friend: Just tell her you’re gay, with me, and she’ll probably be less inclined to hit on you
The Lucky Man: No, because then she’ll ask to watch and try to get me to watch her with some girl too…
Genius Girl: Oh so you’re studying nerves? So like, I always wondered, if you cut a nerve, does that mean you can’t feel your spinal cord anymore?
Girlfriend (recently jokingly accused of being a hermaphrodite): OMG I’m so not a hermaphrodite you loser!
Boyfriend (to the crowd): Well DUH, don’t you think I of all people would know that?
Roommate 1: DUDE, why am I sooooo emo?
Roommate 2: (Stares)
Future Anthropologist: Ok, we need more Jewish people in our lives…you know a bunch right? Want to recruit?
Aryan Friend: Yeah, sure; blonde hair, blue eyes…I fit right in
Girl eating chicken: Eww…how can you order sushi? Don’t you think it’s so cruel to the fish?
The Ladies Man: Dude, who is that chick? She’s so hot…
The Pacifist Friend: …my sister
Burke-Williams best customer: I love these airport massage chairs…if only they had people who massaged for a living, it’d be so much better…
Old Lady on a Plane: Oh my, you’re so large…
Big African-American man: Thank you ma’am…
Old Lady on a Plane: You must’ve played football, all big guys like you play football in the NFL…I imagine it must be awfully fun…
Big African-American man: (Stares)…no, sorry ma’am
Old Lady on a Plane: Procedes to talk about NFL and big men for half of flight
Drunken Girl in the City: Man, why can’t we just find the woods so I can go #2 already?
Pre-Drunk Girl: Dude, I have to get ready…it’s a mother effing pageant!
Guy: Yeah, I have scoliosis so I have to be careful when working out
Friend/Doctor: Oh dude, you have multiple scoliosis? Isn’t that, like, mental retardation?
Guy: Er…no it’s a back problem…did you mean multiple sclerosis?
The Wannabe Alcoholic: Can I get a slushy…on the rocks please…
Future Weatherman: I know we’re not gonna have practice today because of the weather…
Friend: Wait, how can you tell?
Future Weatherman: (enthusiastically) I have two eyes, and they can see through windows!
Captain “Obvious”: Man, those SUVs are huge…they’re like a bus on wheels…
Coloradoan: Well I’m from Denver, CO so I love to ski…
Future Mapmaker: Oh, I didn’t realize Colorado was near an ocean
Inked Guy: Yeah, I want to get another tattoo
Smartest Friend: Whoa, aren’t you worried about getting a scar though?
Ethics Teacher (really): So the professor sexually assaulted women on his research project, everything up to and including rape…so how do we define that in terms of Scientific Misconduct?
Class: (Silence)
The Friend Who is Too Close: Just flash me, I want to compare nipples
Sex-Educated Collegiate: Wait, you’re not a virgin? So it possible for me to get an STD if you put your mouth there?
Cultural American: I think England is so dumb for stealing our language…I mean, they don’t even speak it right
Girl at the Bar: Yeah, my friend’s dog just died, so we’re trying to cheer her up…death is so sudden sometimes, it’s insane
The Ladies Man’s Brother: yeah…I love death
Cultural Minority (to a dark-skinned brother): So, did you ever stand in front of a blackboard and get written on because no one saw you?
21st century gal: It’s not even that cold…I’m such a ninny
Tom Cruise’s biggest fan: So, scientology seems interesting…I mean, I heard Tom Cruise believes it
Friend: They believe that humans were going to be killed by some alien named Xenu…and never to use psychiatry
Tom Cruise’s biggest fan: Oh, wait, so they don’t like just believe in physics and math and stuff?
Ohio State Alum (on the day of the NC): Wait, they’re playing LSU in the title game?…When did this happen?
Friend: Um, December, before break started…we watched the games together
Foreigner: So, I have a vernacular query…what does this term ghetto mean?
Guy on Subway: You want a Baby Ruth man? One Dollar per bar.
Passenger: Nah, I’m good, not a fan…
Guy on Subway: What’re you? A fag? Who doesn’t like nuts?
Guy to an Ohio State cabbie: Um, Ann Arbor, MI please…
Genius in front of cops (currently busting a friend): Man this is such bullshit, in India I’d give these crackers 50 Rupees and we’d be drinking more
Black Bouncer: Yo, you’re kicked out man
Brown Guy: Wait, why, I haven’t done anything
Black Bouncer: Nah man you were hitting on that girl and her bf told me so I want you…oh shit, you’re not the guy…my bad, ya’ll look alike
Brown Guy: How is that not racist when you say it but racist if I say it?
Black Bouncer: You calling me racist? Get the f*** out…
The Dreamer: I love movies, they’re so realistic sometimes
The Friend: We just saw Star Wars?
YMCA/JCC go-er: Hanukkah is such a bullshit holiday… (JCC = Jewish Community Center)
Drunken Collegian (after noticing he is being videotaped): The motherf***er is going to sue me!!
Indian Dad: So you’re from Oklahoma City right?
Oklahoman: No, I’m from Ponca City…
Indian Dad: What!? Where is that?
Best Date Ever: (breaking away from a kiss) So, am I a good kisser?
Poor Guy: …uh, yeah
Best Date Ever: Good, because I wanted to give you some pointers
Dirty Girl: Did you know LL Cool J can crack a walnut with his ass?
…Ok so these aren’t exact quotes because I might’ve forgotten the wording but the jists are there….and sorry if you recognize this as a quote of yours…just keep in mind that your words have made a profound effect on my life and can now entertain others…nothing to be ashamed of I’d say…jsk 
Filed under: friends, funny, life, quotes | 2 Comments
Tags: funny, life, overheard, quotes, stupid
It’d Be Kind to Rewind
It’s nights like this, when you try to sleep, roll around in bed for a few hours, then say f*** it and stay up, that thinking can really drive you crazy…tonight was one of those for me…trying to sleep, but not being able to really clear my mind enough to drift…tried the remedies of medicine, food, boring shows…then, instead of trying to sleep for 3-4 hours and functioning on that, I figure staying up wired on caffeine would be smart…after all, I have 3 days off and I did take a nap…so I can catch up…but I digress
I heard a song today, Paolo Nutini – Rewind…not sure how I stumbled across it but Youtube is clever like that, this whole what others are watching thing is amazing…anywho…this song, coupled with my insomnia, was the basis for this whole random spew of thoughts (that I’m sure will tickle your fancy)…
A random idea that most of us have at some point is, what if I had done things differently?…Usually we revert when things are fresh in the mind…like, what if I had studied more, what if I had told her how I felt, or what if I hadn’t made that left turn…we always wonder what could’ve been, and being that hindsight is 20/20, we figure the right decision to be something else 7 times out of 10…and wonder if that whole butterfly effect thing is real…but only for a short time
Tonight, for no real reason, I found myself wondering what if I had done a lot differently….that is, what if life was like a movie you’ve already seen…you can rewind to a point and re-watch it, making note of all the subtleties and conversation you missed bc you know what is going to happen….would things be at all similar or would I be somewhere else or would you even be reading this?…you see, most people can look themselves in the mirror and say, “If I had to do this all again, I wouldn’t do much differently…” or “I wouldn’t take anything back”…which in a sense means you’re happy with where you are and have few regrets…unfortunately, there are those of us who look back on life and see a plethora of wrongs
Not that everything done is destructive…I firmly believe every major occurrence in life has a molding effect…but if you were given the opportunity to choose a specific time in your past to rewind the clock to, would you?…that is, you know everything you know now, you know everything you knew then and you can easily distinguish…you can be your present self in your x-year old body….would you do it?
I can say, with very little uncertainty, that I would do it…not because I’m terribly unhappy with what I am and where I’m going, but moreso because there are decisions I’ve made that I would take back…several in fact…and that my retrospective sight is rife with “20/20″ moments….my conscious mistakes only start at a certain age, though…I can’t really remember all the wrong-doings I had ever, but there are ones I can say still impact me a bit…so, given the option to rewind life like a movie you’ve just watched…would you take it?
It’s an interesting idea…one that is easy to go mildly insane over with details…especially when given the time-independent version…when would you hit the play button again? College? High School? Kindergarten? Yesterday?….my choice? Summer, 2002…the end of my true small-town upbringing…yeah it’s 5 and a half years ago…yes it’s almost arbitrary…but that’s the whole point then, isn’t it?
It’s a terribly personal question to ask…and actually entirely useless in the grand scheme, “look-forward” lifestyle we all live…sure living in the past is a bit shoddy…but indulgence is one of those things we always do…if we feel any joy/guilty pleasure in doing something, we’ll do it again…if you crack even the faintest smile when thinking about this rewind button on life…well, it was worth it…because today is over…yesterday is light-years ago…and “tomorrow I’m gonna wake up and I’m gonna be 50″…so, if you feel like sometimes your life is moving too fast…curl up/lean back/ lie down somewhere and replay a bit…then see how you feel…
sorry for the seriousness, but I wanted to share…”dark and dreary” out…jsk 
Filed under: life, past, thoughtful | Leave a Comment
Tags: life, mistakes, past, relive, rewind, second chance
I love airports…well, I take that back, I don’t like being in them when I’m in a rush or when I’ve just had my fourth cavity search, but I love to people watch. When you go to an airport, everyone is so busy and so hustled that people’s real, unfriendly selves come out. Whether its the angry mother with her four kids being rowdy, who she normally handles well but given the lack of Sesame Street or toys, she’s stuck keeping them occupied…or the busy business person who doesn’t seem to notice there are other people in lines or on escalators and always has a damn bluetooth headset attached (btw its funny to talk as the other part of their conversations and watch their reactions)…or the harassed traveler who is stuck in a place they don’t want to be because of weather and they’re either yelling or sleeping due to exhaustion from too much yelling…
But, when you get on that plane, you’re forced to sit and be nice to a person who is far too close for comfort…and if you’re like me you’re usually alone in traveling so you don’t know this woman/man and have to be cordial and polite for any amount of flight time while all you wish was that you could land and do something mildly interesting…..the best, though, is how people tend to strike up conversations with each other in order to make the time fly….maybe even asking thought provoking questions but usually just trying to keep the conversation going because, let’s face it…if you start and stop abruptly it’s just awkward
So, this guy sitting next to you on the flight, they don’t know you and chances are you’ll never meet them again….so what do I do? I lie….I make up who I am and where I’ve come from and what I’m doing because, to me, that’s more interesting…the more exciting you are the more fun you can have with people and in turn, the more fun they have….it’s fun to meet someone interesting, so much so that you feel better about your trip given a fun tidbit of information or a cool personality (see Fight Club)…
1) The Child Prodigy
A lot of us like to travel as comfortable as possible, and in doing so we tend to wear shirts, hoodies or hats that have our school’s name on them….so usually a good way to start a conversation with this person is to see their age and ask, “oh do you go to school there?”…to which one can simply reply…”oh no, I actually teach”…the cover story I used was that I was a child prodigy and graduated high school at age 14, college at age 17 and got my Ph. D. last year (usually I’m about 21 or 22)…people are usually astounded and I say “no, it’s not that great, I don’t have tenure yet, just an assistant professor” and when asked about what you teach, make up some information about the last final or test you took and run with it….whether you’re an economics guru or a biological whiz or whatever…this one is always fun because the first look you get is the “what the hell?” look to which you can laugh and say “I know, sounds crazy…”
2) The identical twin
This particular way doesn’t usually work, unless you sit next to someone who barely recognizes you (someone from school or an extracurricular or someone that hardly knows who you are)….this is actually what started, for me, the lying on airplanes…One day when I met a girl I recognized from high school debate (nerdy, yes), she ended up sitting next to me in the small hometown airport….she was a HUGE ass kisser/gunner/bitch/etc. but wanted to befriend me on the plane….she led with a “have we met”…so I countered with the “no, I’m sorry” and when she said I looked familiar and had I done debate I said, “oh, no that was my twin brother Abhishek….yeah my name is Neil, I didn’t do all that…he did”….after which I spoke about myself in the third person to her and just basically made up whatever I liked…where I went to school, how I was doing, what I had said about debate/her/Harvard (where she went)….sometimes talking about yourself as someone else to someone else who actually thinks they know your original self can be fun…write that down
3) The Arranged Marriage-er
This one always kills because of the ethnic card I have…see being a young Indian man flying to and from random cities can get really annoying…people tend to glare at you, almost afraid you’re a ticking bomb…so when you sit down next to your John/Jane Doe…you start to fidget, act uncomfortable, and ultimately ask them if they’re married (it usually helps if they are)…when they reply, you start asking interesting, thought provoking questions about married life in America (accented is a plus), and ultimately end the line of questioning with…”well that was probably easier bc you met your spouse well before”…after they try to figure it out….you start with the ethnic barbaric nature so many people think exists….I’m only 22 but it’s a good marriage age…my parents found a wonderful person from India who is our caste and all the stars and signs agree we’re a great match…I’ve met her a few times but I’m on this plane to go to my wedding…they live in ______ (insert town) and basically I’m going to be married in a few days….then just sit back and watch as they ponder the crazy arrangements, they congratulate you, or they are shocked….my ultimate goal is to have a champagne toast or something with the cabin after several people hear about it…but yes, this is one of my favorite airplane personalities bc marriage makes people happy
4) The Professional Dancer
This tends to work best if you’re flying to and from a major city….I first used this on a trip from LAX to Chicago…sometimes when people ask you what you’re doing in a certain city, this is a good way to go….it’s hard to be a professional singer or actor or athlete because more people will attempt to look for you or even know if you’ve been in certain things (unless you want to be totally aspiring but that’s no fun)…so I went the dancer route…you’re traveling from your home in City A to a concert in City B for _______ (insert obscure musician) in which you’re a backup dancer….you can start talking about influences, styles and even tell the person of where they might’ve seen you (“If you ever see a video with a group called N’Sync…called Pop, I was in the background of the ____ scene)…then you can start talking about the business, people you know, potential sexualities….it’s always quite fun
5) The Young Entreprenuer
Sometimes you find yourself sitting on flights and you’re dressed better than you should….you might be wearing a suit or just a nicer outfit than most and we all tend to own nice electronics like ipods and things…so this one I’ve devised on a trip back from NYC when I changed into my only clean (but very dressy) clothing…go with what you like but I tend to start my young millionaire personality as an online store that sells something really random…chairs are a good one, also random software, designer kitchenware, video gamer sites…basically anything that most people wouldn’t look at as millionaire making….when people ask what you do you say, oh well I’m just outta college but I’m working on my company, which I started in HS…right now we’re private but we’re getting enough buzz to warrant publicly selling to google/ebay/apple, whatever…basically running with the idea that you’re set for life and all you want to do is make more money…it’s always a good idea to have a company name in mind in case, but usually you can be small enough to be under the radar of most people….being a young millionaire can be fun too, because you can talk about the dream cars you own, the trips you’ve taken and, if you have an elderly person, it’ll melt their heart if you say you’ve made it so you’re parents don’t have to work anymore…
…Just to let you know, I don’t think lying is a great thing to do…the idea is that having fun is important and this person who you’ll never see again will only understand you as that interesting person they met on a plane….in a way you’ll brighten their day…people usually live their lives in such an ordinary, routine and mundane fashion that a little spark is always fun….so if you get away with your personality, you’ve made someone’s day more interesting and made yours more fun…it’s a win-win….
be safe out there….jsk
Filed under: funny, lies, top 5 | 2 Comments
Tags: , airplanes, funny, lies, personality, top 5
Growing up is different
So I went to this med school party the other day….a Halloween party to be exact…everyone dressed up in their costume-y best…spider pigs and fairies and d-bags and s&m freaks alike, all gathering in some small Toledo home in a nice neighborhood drinking Bud/Miller Lite, taking shots and eating laffy taffy….oddly reminiscent of the parties we’d have back in college…minus the fact that everyone was old, some were married and the house was actually owned by the people throwing the party…
Anyways…the point of it was, as I’m walking around this party of all these people I kind of know but only superficially I noticed the normal flirtation thing going on (btw I was DD so all of these are sober observations)…basically I saw all these guys and girls just being exactly like they were not long ago…still flirting, still awkwardly talking about uselessness, still trying to make that first move by touching a leg or the small of a back, still trying to get the number, and still stealing random articles of costumes (hats, sunglasses, wings, etc.) in an effort to be remembered…all the same…except
I’ve noticed this thing…that as we get older, even through college, it’s a lot less common to see unrequited affection….that is, you don’t really see the guy or girl who is interested in the other person but the feeling isn’t mutual….not that people don’t get shot down as much anymore, but it’s really uncommon to see that hs phenomenon where person a asks out person b and gets rejected…everyone seems a bit more open to the situation….and i started to wonder why
Now, that isn’t to say there aren’t unrequited feelings anymore…I personally am a stuck in that situation at the moment and it also led me to think more about this….I couldn’t remember the last time (before my current situation) I liked someone for an extended period even though I knew the answer to the obvious question lurking in my mind….makes me feel kind of stupid because I don’t see it around me anymore…almost like everyone really understands that if there is a chance, take it….and if it doesn’t work then just move on and keep trying….but how exactly did that happen?
As we get older, the amount of people we meet dwindles….we start to make less friends each year, eventually getting to almost a standstill….in hs you knew almost everyone in your grade and each year newbies would come in and since you’re kind of stuck in a small area you get to know everyone pretty well….then college, same kinda concept but a lot more people and more space, so you meet fewer (at least you know fewer as well)….so when you’re a single person, the odds of meeting someone diminish each year just by virtue of life….so I figure that when someone wants to ask you out, you’re subconscious tells you to at least give it a shot because chances are that the next time you get asked out won’t be soon….not like back in the day when each weekend meant a potentially new person as well…
But is it just that? Is it a fact of us realizing our chances are slimming? Maybe it’s our maturity…we don’t see the world as the new-experience-weekly thing it used to be and we’ve wised up to understand that stability and stagnation are key to keep moving….we tend to look past the excitement of “meeting new people” and instead look for “new person”…could it be just that we’re older and our natural evolutionary instinct is to settle down and not really waste our time with things that have failed before….maybe that’s the reason you don’t see the initial “no” as much as you see the “we went out once, it didn’t work out, so we’re not gonna see eachother again”….
Relationships are always a funny enough thing to wonder about (especially when you don’t have one…bc all that time you spend with a person is spent doing stupid things like blogging)….but I feel lots of people get caught up in the “being in a relationship” part that they kind of miss out/suck at the “getting into a relationship” part…but others are the complete opposite….I know people who are great in relationships but are the most awkward starters ever….while I know others who go on several first dates but can’t hold down anything (*cough* me *cough*)….
Anyways….the point of it all was that I have too much time when I go out and actually notice myself and the people around me getting older….which is both cool and scary at the same time….cool because it’s a progression and scary because it seems that with my one-sided affection I’m still stuck in high schooll…oh well, the point of this whole thing was just my observation of the maturation of relationships….from an awkward, “do you want to be my girl/boy friend?” to the “lets go out sometime….again….and again….dating….serious…”progression….it seems as we got older, we got more in tune with feelings but slower about the whole thing in general…seems a little backwards no?…the less time you have, the more you spend?
take care and Happy Veteran’s Day….
Filed under: relationships, thoughtful | 1 Comment
Tags: life, maturity, rejection, relationships, thoughtful, unrequited
my foray into politics (sorta)
For those of you who know me….I am totally not a politics person….I never liked to follow it much, being one of those “let whatever happens happen” people….I’ve even been a cynical follower of the “my vote doesn’t count” club…most of my childhood was never really influenced by the goings on of America bc my mom and dad hardly cared about it either…so when you get older you either change or you don’t
So far, not much has really changed…except the fact that I try to keep up with whatever news about the world there is…..whether it’s Burmese Monks being wiped out, Pakistan’s governmental debacle or all things dumb-Bush….so today I was perusing the interweb when I stumbled across this video from Keith Olbermann of MSNBC on Nov. 5th….
For those of you who want a quick background….recent documents have surfaced that show and condemn the practice of waterboarding (covering a bound prisoner’s eyes, nose and mouth while pouring water all over their body and face) as torturous….the contention of a former assistant attorney general Levin relates the practice to “the feeling of drowning”…essentially you scare whoever it is into thinking they’re drowning without actually dunking the head under water…
Now the big reason this is an issue is because the US has used it on certain prisoners (mainly Islamic fundamentalists) in order to gain insight on terror plots….unfortunately the US also condemns any act of torture….so essentially their top lawyer group says its torture but they still do it even though they refuse to torture….and all the while GW Bush goes on his merry way and lets it happen, along with the profuse other idiocies he’s committed (for the record, that’s my one political opinion…I agree with 70ish% of the US that our executive branch may well be the worse thing that could have happened to US….as well as the dumbest)
So what brings it here? Well, I saw this video and of the many annoyed/embarrassed for our country/shocked sensations I felt…the one that stood out most wasn’t that…but Keith Olbermann’s passion…it’s rare that we get to see our news anchors act passionately when they’re just sitting alone at a desk and reporting…but shockingly I feel like we’ve seen a massive flux of this as a result of all the atrocities (yes atrocities…I rank Iraq up there with Vietnam now) that our government has been doing….it’s usually a good idea for press to be biased, and usually when they’re not they’re dumb about it…but
Olbermann goes on for about 11min. on all the things we think about Bush and co. and the tact and voice and delivery make it more believable than a professor telling me unbiased information on cardiovascular epithelium….his passion/hatred for the acts remind me that I’ve never in my life felt passionate about anything to the point this is at….it’s sad but in my life nothing has ever offended me as much as it seems to offend the rest of the world/Keith Olbermann in particular….so what does it all mean?…nothing really, while I sit here and yap about how awesome this guy’s rant was and how painful I still think it is that our president can’t say nuclear, the truth is that I still don’t do as much as the average John Q. Northwestern when it comes to believing in something….
The disdain, the disgust, the passionate tirade…all things I wish I had but don’t….still made me sit up and take notice of what he was talking about and forced me to conjure a stronger opinion of what is really going on in the world today…in the end, my point is that while I don’t appreciate political jabberwocky or pundits spewing snicker-snack….I love the passion/emotion from this guy….really something admirable in a world of walking on eggshells….
jsk….
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Tags: bush, olbermann, passion, politics, thoughtful, waterboarding
First off, I’m not sure why I switched from the old xanga site to this stuff….I guess I wanted a change…but it’s not important…this is the new look of a slightly different but same old blog…
I want to switching things up from what I usually do, but I was unsure how to do that, until I went to Ohio State this last weekend….one thing I noticed when meeting all the new people there were the EXTREME similarities of people I knew at NU, Case, Toledo and various other colleges that I frequented….it seems that while everyone’s college experience is unique, when you’re with people you can kind of notice the same basic friend archetype….and no I don’t know if I used that word right, it just sounded good…
So I thought, who are the top 5 different types of college friends…keep in mind I mean friends and not people you know and are annoyed by…so no crazy frat boy alcoholic womanizer or skanky girl or crazy nerd who has no friends….these are the top 5 people you’re friends with in college:
1) The Social Butterfly / Comedian
There is a person everyone at college can say they are friends with because this person is in fact friends with everyone…the unofficial link between different groups, this person is so involved in different cliques that they go to every party and are rarely ever seen alone…this person is the life of most places they go to because when they show up everyone always greets them more enthusiastically than a celeb and they never cease to amaze you with their wit…and they’re so involved in all sorts of campus groups that they are seldom a great friend and more of a good acquaintance (who you don’t mind being around)…the social butterfly also has the weakness of being extremely awkward in situations where they hardly know anybody
2) Mr./Ms. Emotional and Artistic
While no one wants to admit to being good friends with an “emo baby”, everyone knows of someone they’re close to that can be classified as a little melodramatic….the emo-artist is never really a downer but always thinking way to deeply about usually trivial stuff…they also tend to try being artistic in lots of ways, whether photography or their look or music…and tend to have had some deep emotional link to an obscure music group/poet/painter…the emo-artist is always in touch with how you may/may not feel because chances are they’ve contemplated it before….but at some times they’re attitudes and advice can get a little unnecessarily overbearing
3) The Professional
The college pro, the person who all their friends will at some point dub “most likely to succeed” or “most likely to piss of Steve Jobs bc they’re trying to one-up him”…this person dresses everyday in nicer clothes than necessary and centers their do-ings on getting to that “baller” status of CEO/MBA/ruler of the free world…they have a great idea of what they intend to do with their lives and are willing to open a business when any good idea comes up (ages 10+)…This friend is always the one to go to for advice on the future, the economy and important things you consider as you get older and the real world looms closer…but their kind of lacking in the whole “be there for you” realm…not that they don’t have your back but given an iffy situation not involving the stock market or how much to spend on an ebay item, they may just delegate the response to a problem to their subordinates and optimize the healing process
4) The Repressed Minority Pre-Med/Pre-Law/Engineer/All Three
Ahh, the one friend you have because you know they’re the best person to study with….I don’t mean any disrespect at all (especially bc I was this at times)…normally you meet this person by chance of rooming nearby eachother or being in a study group/small class…this kid has been pushed hard by their parents for years to be that strong doc/lawyer/ph. d…. they know they’re in college to do well and generally just push themselves to the point of mild insanity and renting library space….they’re great bc when all the tests are done they usually unwind as fast as any other, but still know how to work hard and keep you focused when you’re with them….but they’re not so great in the attendance category…if you haven’t used the library in a month, they’ve changed the study spot rotation and it may take you all semester to find them
5) The Gym/Sport/Running Enthusiast
50% of the things this person says start with “when I was at the gym” or “on my run” or “at practice”…this lady/gentlemen are the alpha-dogs who strive to kick obesity’s ass 5 out of 7 days a week…they work out often and reap the benefits and are a great friend to have if you have any health problems….you’d think to go to pre-med friend but this person knows the ins and outs of nutritions, dieting and fast food death better than anyone…this person is the best one to set up a mild workout schedule with to get into shape….but after a while of lagging one or two days a week you’ll tend to get behind and be treated more like a trainee than a friend…and sometimes bc they feel huge, they tend to enjoy fighting when you all go out
…so Yeah I generalized a lot of these based on people I’ve known at college….and if you know me then don’t try to figure out if I chose you to model any of these off bc truthfully most people hit into more than one category….it’s just that when you’re like me and done with the undergraduate university thing….you look back and think of your friends as caricatures…bc usually your fondest memories are those when they were 1-5….
and there are SOOO many more types of people you’ll meet…but these are my favorite 5 because they can impact you in the best ways while never being sooo perfect that you don’t need anyone else…that sounds weird but if you think about it you’ll get what I mean
jsk… 
Filed under: college, friends, thoughtful | 1 Comment
Tags: college, friends, personality, thoughtful, top 5
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