It’s been far too long since I last posted something here. The only reason I remembered this apart from all the annoying work I have to do right now is a green post-it on my monitor and someone asking me what it meant when they visited. I’ve been meaning to write something…well…meaningful, but I find that my mood is a bit too somber to make perfect sense and instead you’d be treated to a disdainful splurge of melancholy ramblings…write that down.
Instead, I wanted to touch on something that I use to waste a whole lot of time…and that is movies…more particularly the fight scenes in some of my favorites. Being that all guys love a good fight scene, I’ve come to realize that most movies need to have some insanely ground-breaking fight scene if the genre they’re going for is “guy-movie” related (yeah you can have a sh**-load of explosions and gun battles, but hand-to-hand combat is a must). I’ve perused a million scenes in my days…some horrible like, say, Street Fighter: The Movie, and some amazing ones (see most Jet Li, Bruce Lee fights). So without further explanation:
5) The Chatty/Gentlemanly Duel
The Princess Bride – Inigo Montoya vs. The Man in Black
While this isn’t the most eye-opening, gut-wrenching, insane manly duel in the world, it ranks up there as one of my favorites. Normally when you see fight scenes, the dialog tends to get in the way of the fighting. This one, however, is vastly different. It’s the conversational tone, the almost playfulness of a “fight to the death” (coupled with excellent swordsmanship) that makes we watch it over and over. It’s a great moment in the movie because you know very little about everyone, but this scene opens up a major story for the characters, as well as being highly entertaining…got to love the one-liners…zing!
4) I Know Kung Fu
The Matrix – Morpheus vs. Neo
For most people, this fight scene would probably rank pretty high on their list. For me, it’s obviously the case, but it sits at #4 (and not higher) because of my distaste for Keanu Reeves. He talks with an upwards inflection at the end of every sentence, like it’s always a question, with an airy nonsense nature. But enough about that. This fight scene is cool because it has the speed, precision and form of two relatively seasoned fighters cramped into two actors who had simply trained for it. When you can have two guys who aren’t martial artists fake it to make me believe they might be, you’re good. The acrobatics are great, but what I like (which you seem to miss in lots of martial art fights) is the fact that you can clearly see who is “winning” during the fight. It’s not a random assortment of hands but an attacker and a defender and one being the better. One of my favorite fights, with the greatest WTF line “You think that’s air you’re breathing?”
3) Crash of Cultures
Fearless – Huo Yuanjia vs. Foreign Experts, Huo Yuanjia vs. Anno Tanaka
Ok, so this is kind of cheating, but both these fight scenes are technically in the same chronology, so I don’t care. The first, the foreign experts fight scene, I put because of it answers a questions I’d always wondered: “Sure these kung fu guys are awesome, but would they be able to fight any other styles?” This was fun to watch and actually pretty well choreographed. The second scene, with the Japanese master, was a bigger highlight for the movie, so it’s kind of separated from the others. The weapons are insane and the tie-ending (which you don’t see often) is different in a good way. Jet Li is one of today’s best martial artists and this fight scene (along with the banging soundtrack in this video) makes it pretty awesome.
2) Eddy, from Tekken? What’re You Doing Here?
The Protector (Tom-Yum-Goong) – Kham vs. Capoeira Fighter
Now, if you’ve ever played a Tekken game, you’ve seen that annoying character Eddy, who seems to be breakdancing moreso than fighting. Turns out, that’s a real style of fighting (from Brazil/Africa) based on, you guessed it, dance movements. This one ranks very high on my list because of the insanity of the fight. Yes, capoeira fighting style isn’t the best method to bring into a fight, but out of the millions of fight scenes in this movie, I had to put it up there (close behind it was the 1 shot fight, with zero editing, which is pretty cool). The personification of Eddy, to me, was pretty awesome. While the fight isn’t that long, it’s cool how each fighter kind of starts to adapt to take on the opposite style, because when they were started, no Muy Thai guy thought he’d ever face a Brazilian Capoeira monster. This fight, while not the greatest, it up there for cinematic allure.
1) F***ing Chuck Norris
Way of the Dragon – Tang Lung vs. Colt
As I hope to have a self-respecting fight list, I had to place Bruce Lee as number 1. The only question was, which fight would be his best. Was it the opening fight from Enter the Dragon, the Kareem-foot-in-your-chest fight, or something displaying disgusting nunchaku skills. In the end, I chose the one with Chuck Norris. I realize it’s blasphemy to show Chuck Norris losing anything, but I’m pretty sure that if he had only grown his beard (to hide the third fist) he might’ve won. This fight is gritty, angry, dirty and above all, real. Both of these guys actually fight that way (in fact, they used a fast-action camera because they moved too fast in the pre-takes…something Bruce Lee always did apparently). This is the fight scene I can watch over and over again because its a systematic fight. Breaking down one leg, arm, knee at a time.
Honorable Mentions:
Troy – Achilles vs. Hector (Horrible acting but a great fight)
Legend of the Drunken Master – Wong Fei-hung vs. Thunderlegs (real character name, fight always makes me wish I was coordinated when drinking)
Transformers: The Movie – Optimus Prime vs. Megatron (cartoon movie guys, for my inner 12-year old, and I wish the live-action movie’s fight was as good)
That’s all for today. Behave yourself, if you have any qualms you’re welcome to let me know…and in the words of Tyler Durden…I want you to hit me as hard as you can….jsk 
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Tags: bruce lee, fight, jet li, kung fu, movie, scene, top 5
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